I think League is what fills the void of my depression. But, League is not enough anymore. Retail Therapy is not helping either. Key Club just made me feel so depressed. I see everyone happy and then I am here stuck out like a third wheel cause I don’t converse with anyone. I converse but I end up being one of those people who need to shut up and stay out of the conversation. I hope I become LTG so I can fill in the void. Maybe my education crash could be ignored more as I focus on fixing the division to it’s former glory. Just the feeling of being able to do something and make an impact onto many members could help. I need to cry. I wanna get it out. It feels so great to cry. But I can’t. If I never transferred, I could be Straight A’s and depression-less. On the other hand, I have experienced a lot since I transferred schools twice. It just hurts so much knowing that I could have gone to THAT college. When I see other people around me getting awards and scholarships, it kills me. I don’t need an award to show greatness, but, it’s one of those little things that get you. It is just eating me away going to a community college. It’s cheap and great, but, at the same time, I could be somewhere greater. I always get over the fact I can’t go to college with a full ride anymore but, it just hurts day by day. Maybe if I score distinguished LTG, that might be great as well. Then my LTG told me how bad she felt after her SAT scores came back. She wanted to go to Stanford and can’t go anymore. I told her, “I am going to a community college. If you can beat that, I’ll be happy for you no matter what.”. Saying that killed me so much. Watching her as a Senior, with a college in her grasp. When I had the college in my grasp ripped away from me too early. Change is good from what I have been told. Is it truly? It brings me despair, joy and then despair again. I went through my Instagram and saw many that got acceptance letters from their no. 1 choice or that they scored a scholarship. I am just sitting here. Being jealous. That it could have been me with that. I have tried. Many times. To get over my crippled education. But, now, it’s like I can’t help it anymore. I am fine without taking any of them IB/AP classes. It’s so easy. But, I wanna be SMOTHERED in homework. Even if I did take ap classes now, they would be of no use if I am going to a community college. Yeah I could skip a class if I pass the ap exam, but, better off chilling for the last two years so nothing of value is ripped away from me. I don’t even know what to do anymore but focus everything on running for LTG and putting my all into it. Because I L-O-V-E D36E and I don’t want to watch it fall. But, when my term ends, it’s gonna be a sad one. Knowing you left a legacy. Forever gone. It makes me not want to run because I don’t want to see how it ends. But, better off me running than my the other candidate. I seriously think he shouldn’t run. Everyone, even his friends doubt him. They don’t want to have him as LTG or as their president. I would love to have these set of people as my EA’s but I need to have my home club super stable. I put so much effort in planning it all out and he isn’t even serious enough. I don’t even think he understands what Key Club truly is. Blinded by the “Free hugs” and the division shirts. I wanna change how every officer views Key club. And “not some community service” club. But, a service organization that can build LEADERSHIP, INCLUSIVENESS, CHARACTER BUILDING, and To be CARING. In any case. I must win. I don’t want my division to fall into the wrong hands. I practically channeled all the LTGs I knew like they were my past Avatars. I went as far back as Lynne. So, I am done ranting after a while. I shall be back Tumblr.
OKAY LET’S DO THIS
Every person who regblog this will have a pokemon egg on their submissions and a few days later a pokemon will hatch from the egg.
The pokemon will be submitted based on their blog, it may be shiny or even a legendary
(Have your submissions open and only reblog, likes does not count)